It is easy to blame our fears upon the negative afflictions of our past. To allow a certain moment in time to hold us back, frozen in its very clutches. We try to move forward, but we are simply inhibited, controlled by the terror of what it means to actually break free.
When the demons haunt us, it is because we are not yet ready to face the lesson. Maybe we understand part of the lesson, but we have not yet come to fully embrace it. We have not yet done the healing required to turn the lesson into wisdom. And so, we barricade ourselves behind great walls of self defense, building a little fortress in which to keep us safe, and protected.
It is a maneuver that buys us time. Time to heal. Time to understand. Time to grow. But if we are not careful, if we choose to dwell on the pain, we become in jeopardy of finding ourselves locked behind those walls forever.
I love Friday. The one day where the efforts of an entire week culminate into a celebration: two days off, YES!
Ahhhhh, it is a fantastic day indeed. Even better now that when I leave work at 17:30 EST, as of the past couple days, it’s no longer dark out! The end is near, and the long summer eves are slowly coming back into sight. Sure, by the time I get home, dusk has started to settle in. But this no longer seems to matter; the short days of winter are going, going, almost gone!
As we get ready to bid adieu to the infinite darkness (aka season of hibernation), I can’t help but feel the need to embrace my Dark Side. That, and I’m in a geeky little mood; I should be more vigilant in taking care of some matters of necessity, but I feel too seduced by art and creativity to spend my Friday night working (somewhat akin to how a Jedi may sometimes feel seduced by the dark side. Except my seductions are of an inspirational spirit, as opposed to an evil one).
This is what she wants most in the world…to continue bouncing from one day to the next, feeling like she is floating in a constant and never-breaking state of oblivion. The feeling of being lost – oh, how she thrives relentlessly upon this feeling.
Tumbling down hills, crawling through trenches, being kicked when you are already down; being covered in mud does something ethereal indeed. Soul-cleansing. Anger-releasing. Positive-thought reinforcing.